Does the thought of selling alone make you feel queasy and uneasy?
Would you love your business if it wasn’t for the “sales” part of it?
Except that without the “sales” part, it wouldn’t be a business, right? So yes, that is a problem!
Well, if that’s you, you’re are not alone. This is very common. And I think there are a few mindset issues that could keep you stuck in this “discomfort zone”, as I like to call it.
Let’s have a look at what might be going on!
#1 Money mindset
If you’ve grown up with some unhealthy beliefs about money, like “money is evil”, or “only greedy people earn a lot of money”, then it’s plainly obvious why you don’t want any part in this!
It’s those limiting beliefs that shape your behavior and you sabotage yourself to prove your point.
Hello, self-fulfilling prophecy!
If you believe that earning money is a bad thing then you’re much more likely to just dump your offer in front of – well, anyone really – to get it over with and call it a day.
And when your results are everything but stellar you kinda pat yourself on the shoulder and say “well, I gave it a shot but I guess I’m just not greedy enough to make it work”.
Do you see how this keeps you stuck?
#2 Self-worth & confidence
If you’re not feeling worthy or good enough to get paid for what you do you are also likely to hate the selling part of your business.
You might love what you do, you might be utterly passionate about your business, but it kind of feels wrong to charge for it…
You think “It’s not that special, I’m not that special, I don’t feel comfortable charging for that”. What if they don’t like it or think I’m a fraud?
Hello, imposter syndrome.
What do you believe about yourself?
Note: Mindset is NOT woo-woo!
I cannot stress this often enough: Mindset is not woo-woo.
Mindset determines how you think, feel, and behave. And this has a tremendous effect on your outcomes, right?
It determines how much effort you put into your work, how you approach problems, and ultimately whether or not you’re making progress or stay stuck.
That’s why this is so important and why I focus on these kinds of things to help my clients get to the next level.
If you can already see where you want to go, but just can’t seem to reach it and make progress, no matter how hard you try, then chances are there is something inside you holding you back that you might not even be aware of yet.
Your business might not be in alignment with your inner beliefs and values. Maybe you’re doing what you do because you think you really SHOULD be doing this because someone else expects you to do it.
Maybe you run a family business that has been around for generations and you feel obliged and pressured into keeping it going even though you don’t actually enjoy doing it.
Or maybe you’re really good at something and everyone always told you that you should really make money doing this since you’re that good. For example, you might be a great artist but deep down you believe no one should charge for art because it should be freely accessible to everyone.
Now you have your beliefs and values on the one hand and the need to make money on the other hand and they both clash because they are not aligned.
You believe one thing but try to do something else and wonder why it makes you feel miserable…
#4 Selling does not equal spamming
You believe that “selling” means spamming people with your offer, putting links everywhere, and telling EVERYONE (and their mum) about your offer – whether they are interested or not.
This is not how it works. First off, if people aren’t interested, don’t tell them about your offer. Period. It feels salesy for you and annoying to the other people.
You don’t need to “convince” people or pressure them into buying. That doesn’t feel good for either side. What you want to do instead is to focus on finding people that you can help and then educating them about how you can help them.
Real life vs online world
Here is the difference: Let’s say you’re a web designer and sell website packages.
Picture yourself at a dinner party talking to someone you don’t know yet. Now that person tells you that they live completely off the grid, farm organically and sell their produce at the local farmer’s markets.
Now it’s your turn to introduce yourself. You tell that nice chap that you design websites for online businesses. There is a bit of an awkward pause before the farmer says “Well, that sounds great. I would never ever want to venture into the online world, but it’s great that you enjoy what you do.”
At this point, would you jovially put your arms around his shoulders and say “Well, dear friend, you’re totally wrong in your beliefs. Let’s take a walk and I’ll explain how I have the perfect solution to the problem you totally DON’T have.”?
Well, I hope you wouldn’t do that! Explaining your offer and the benefits to interested people is totally different from trying to force your offer onto people who are not interested and clearly don’t need what you have to offer.
The online world is no different from the real world! The same rules apply. You still want to find people who might need your offer and investigate whether or not your offer makes sense to them in their current situation BEFORE you put your offer in front of them.
A sale doesn’t START with your offer. It CLOSES with your offer.
You want to build a connection first and serve before you sell. You want to identify and understand someone’s problem and show them how to bridge the gap before you ask them for the sale.
ONE shift that changes EVERYTHING…
Actually there’s ONE shift that changes EVERYTHING. And that is where you put your focus.
If you approach people focused on selling your product/service to them, then yes, you might feel pushy and come across as salesy.
But what if you shifted your focus away from the “selling” and focused on “being of service” instead?
This takes the pressure off you, takes the desperate energy out, and allows you to focus on being the solution to someone else’s problem.
And once you are the solution, you don’t feel salesy and pushy anymore. You’ll feel helpful instead.
Now if any of these things ring true for you, those are the areas you should focus on first. Change always starts by changing yourself.
As always, I would love to hear your thoughts and feedback! How does “selling” make you feel?